


A Small Problem

by Hidden_Ajinn



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: BITTIES, Crack Treated Seriously, Dark Sans, Everyone Needs A Hug, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, FGOD Error, Flowey (Undertale) Being an Asshole, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Laughs Anyway, Not Canon Compliant, References to Undertale Genocide Route, Sans (Undertale) Remembers Resets, Sorry Not Sorry, Swapfell, Underfell, Why Don't You Believe Me?, bitty - Freeform, fellswap, ignorant ink, lots of characters, star council, that was not the set up to a joke, underswap - Freeform, what do you call a group of bitties?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:41:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28949814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hidden_Ajinn/pseuds/Hidden_Ajinn
Summary: Ink thinks it's about time to warn the multiverse about the Dark Sans' - what could go wrong?---An Undertale Sans is fiddling with his machine to escape his looping world after learning his isn't the only one out there - it malfunctions and sends him into a bitty AUASA BITTY!? Coincidentally on the doorstep of an adoption center, in a box with OTHER bitties !? Whaaa ???Luckily, he still has all his magical power. But will it be enough to get home...? And will he be stuck like this if he does? It doesn’t matter. He needs to get home to Papyrus - regardless of his little problem.… what was that about these fell bitties being unfit for resale? And why does Sans have a bad feeling about that back room...?
Comments: 20
Kudos: 63





	1. A Small Parcel

**Author's Note:**

> Teen rating for some mild language and brief mentions of ethnicization. Maybe a little violence if i'm feeling spicy
> 
> there are no ships here - unless you count eventual friendships XD (but it's fine if you ship - i don't dictate your life)
> 
> partially inspired by "Itty Bitty Brother" by Warriorstale001

Ink was late. Again. 

Undertale Sans - also known as Classic - sat tapping his phalanges on the ridiculously long table as he, and the others waited. He contemplated a nap. Several others looked to be entertaining the same idea.

The seating arrangement was loosely based on universe type and who had the most influence. As Undertale was the original universe and had many, many copies, this left Sans next to the leaders of the Star council. Nearby was Underfell, Underswap and a variety of Swapfell and Fellswap from Reds, Golds, Purples and whatevers. 

Sans never really understood why there were so many types of Swapfell and Fellswap and why they weren’t just considered copies - Ink had probably been going through an experimental phase - and Sans was too lazy to figure out what made them each different. It wasn’t his business to go poking into their lives. 

Other AU's present included Outertale, Dancetale, Echotale, Underlust, Birdtale, Storyshift - and many, many more, each with a single, or in some cases double representative of their respective AU’s. It was by no means everyone. Most of the AU’s that fall under the category ‘too evil’ or ‘too innocent’ or were just recently created were usually deemed best left in the dark about the multiverse. Littletale and yanderetale for example were not present. It was also rare to involve a copy unless there was some kind of accident or they find out on their own - like Blue. There were also the ones everyone had an unspoken agreement about avoiding … like Jerrytale or the one where everyone has Mettaton's legs.

Sans’ eyesockets were beginning to slip closed as his head began to bob as he fought sleep for a few seconds more. He really wished he was back home. Papyrus had been trying to make a new dish for supper under the supervision of Toriel, so he knew it was bound to be good.

Sure, the Star Council was formed as a preventative measure against multiversal threats like Nightmare and his gang or Error, the literal Destroyer of Worlds. But it would still have been nice to hang out a little more with his brother - especially since Ink is usually late to these meetings ... even though Ink’s also usually the one to call them.

Blue and Dream were doing their best to keep everyone placated, but Sans could already tell an argument was brewing from one or more fellverse rep.

His eyes close and his head thuds against the table, but he doesn’t mind - he’s already asleep.

***

It only feels like he closed his eyes for a moment, but when he opens them again things have already drastically changed. 

A Swapfell Papyrus is sleeping with his head back at an uncomfortable looking angle, sharp toothed mouth agape, feet on the table. There is a stack of balanced office supplies on his forehead. Several other napping skeletons have met a similar, but equally creative fate - no two stacks the same.

Reaching up to his own head, Sans pulls off a pair of fluffy cat ears, not having escaped the shenanigans himself. He wonders who the nap-bandit was, as he decided to title them.

A Fellswap Sans appears to glare at him for no apparent reason. Probably for self-important reasons.

Blue seems to be hosting group origami with another Underswap Sans, his lap absolutely buried in papercrains that crinkle at his every little move.

For some reason Fell Sans was tied up to a chair wearing a dunce hat and a sign around his neck saying “I swore in front of Blue even after he asked me to stop. No means No!,” with a smug looking Lust taunting him.

G appeared to be making and remaking a card tower by stealing cards from a poker game Fellswap … Gold(?) Sans and Papyrus appear to have started, much to their displeasure.

Birdtale Sans appeared to be giving rides as Outertale Sans lazily watched while floating. It was surprising the celling was tall enough for it.

Dream has his face planted on the table. Sans would have mistaken him for a sleeping if the occasional defeated sigh and mutterings didn’t indicate otherwise. Storyshift Chara sneaks up to the mumbling Dream and begins stacking apples on his head - how appropriate. Nap-bandit mystery solved.

They notice Sans watching and put a finger to their smiling lips, eyes gleaming red. Sans can’t help but shiver.

The sound of a portal opening catches everyone's attention as Ink walks in from the other side.

Several stacked towers topple as their foundations shift or startle awake. Chara pouts over the fact that they didn’t get to finish stacking all the apples. They return to their spot despite that.

Where they got all these office supplies and produce was a mystery.

“Hey guys!” Ink says cheerfully, his mismatched eyelights bright. “I hope I’m not too late - I got caught up creating a new AU. Then I forgot. Or was that the other way around?”

Ink blinks, eyelights changing in confusion as he finally registers the chaos. 

“INK!” Blue shouts as he stands - papercrainces falling like a paperfall as he bound towards the Creator, a line of them trailing after him. “NO, NO! YOU’RE NOT THAT LATE!” He cuts in cheerfully to avoid another argument, then mutters. “Just three hours.” But he’s back to beaming before anyone can blink. “I’M GLAD YOU’RE HERE NOW AT LEAST!”

“Oh. Okay.” Ink said, easily moving on. “Anyway, did I miss a party? It looks like you guys had fun!” He’s eyeing everything with interest and seems to be holding himself back from joining in.

“eh. you didn’t miss much” Sans said, tossing the cat ears behind him. “but we’re all curious about what this meeting’s about. you don’t really call an unscheduled meeting unless you’ve got a plan.”

“That right!” Ink said as if he just recalled. “I’ve got a plan! It -” he vomited black ink and his face blanked for a second. “What were we talking about?”

Sans sighed. It was a wonder the multiverse functioned at all, given the person creating it. Actually, no, it functions just about as well as you'd expect with him at the helm - barely held together by duct tape and Hope. As one of very few existing with memory of the X-events ending, Sans had a special insight into how unpredictably gullible and childish Ink could really be ... and how fragile the multiverse is.

Ink cleaned up his mess using his magic as Dream reminded him of what he had literally just been talking about.

“You were saying you had a plan?”

“Oh yeah!” He chuckled, then began reading through the various things on his scarf to find said plan.

Underfell Sans was looking annoyed as usual, still tied up.

“tch. dumba-” Blue gave him a sharp look and he flounders for an alternate insult. “aaaashtray fuck - frick! i said frick!”

G, who was smoking (despite repeated complaints) rolled his eyes at the insult, twirling an ace of hearts.

“Ah-ha! Found it!” Ink said proud, once again regaining attention. “We tell the copies!”

Inks' expression was smugly satisfied.

There were confused mutterings amongst the room.

Sans sighed. Why did he always have to be the adult?

“didn’t you tell us that was a bad idea about a month ago?" Sans asked. "that it would cause some sort of multiversal confusion and chaos when people start trying to travel?”

“Did I say that?” Ink asked confused, eyelights colored question marks as he looked back to his scarf. “Hmmmm nope. I don’t see it. If it was really that important I would have written that down for sure! Probably. I was, like, exaggerating to see your reactions or something.”

Sans wished he didn’t see that as a possibility, but with Ink one simply can’t always know what’s going on in his head. Undynetale for example. Just ... why???

He pinched the bridge of his nose. He was the Creator, so, really, it was his call anyway. 

“and just so we’re clear.” Sans decided to ask. “what do you want us to tell the copies?”

Ink shrugged carelessly.

“I don’t know. Just a general warning about Nightmare, Error and maybe Fresh being a possible danger to their AU’s or something. Do the details really matter?”

“well, including descriptions of what they look like would probably be helpful.” Sans said dryly.

“AND IT IS ALSO A GOOD IDEA TO EXPLAIN WHY EACH OF THEM IS SO DANGEROUS.” Blue added.

“We should probably add something about Nightmares followers, just in case.” Dream said as he looked lost in serious thought.

“Wow!” Ink said beaming. “These are all great ideas! It’s really inspiring! I’m gonna go make more AU’s now!” As sudden as he had come, he was gone. Leaving the rest to do the actual work.

The Star council began debating other useful information to spread to the copies and which Copies to involve.

***

It was very late in his AU by the time he got back, the sun had set on Surface City hours ago it appeared. He was famished and exhausted from talking so long. He hoped Papyrus hadn’t worried too much. 

On his way past the kitchen door, he paused and looked in at what he saw. On the table was a plate of chicken alfredo. Beside the dishes was a sleeping Papyrus still sitting at his chair. Sans couldn’t help but feel touched if a bit guilty and gave a small smile to the sleeping Papyrus.

A quick shortcut later and Sans held a soft blanket in his hands. He gently covered Papyrus's shoulders. But despite his best attempts he still woke him.

“Sans...?” he asked tiredly as he groggily rubbed his sockets.

“yeah bro. it’s me.” Sans said softly. “didn’t mean to wake you.”

“IT - it’s alright brother.” He said more awake noticing the time. Papyrus was always a light sleeper and quick to wake. “I thought you would be back sooner.”

“heh. so did i. i was just about to give your new recipe a try. looks im- _pasta_ -ble to resist.”

Papyrus rolled his eyes to hide his smirk. “Ugh. Sans. It is too early and/or late for puns. I expected better from you.” 

Sans sat down on the other side of the table and picked up a fork to eat. He pointed the loaded utensil at Papyrus. “sorry. did that _brother_ you?” He asked, taking his first bite. It was good. He let out a hum of appreciation causing Papyrus to smile, then sigh.

“Now that you’re back, do you mind telling me how the meeting went?” Papyrus asked. "And why do you have cat whiskers drawn on your face?"

Sans snorted at the revelation - he knew the cat ears couldn't have been all.

“oh man where to start…”

So, even though he was dead tired, he recounted the tale of the nap-bandit and other meeting highlights.

It didn’t occur to him that a mistake may have slipped into the selection of which Copies to include a letter to. 

And even if it had, it wasn't his business anymore.

What was the worst that could happen?

***

*Undertale_Copy208*

***

Sans stares at the ceiling, eyesockets dark. The same time and space he was before, yet again. It was beginning to blur together, but still, he counted.

47 - that’s how many times Flowey has decided to reset Today, Sans adds to his mental tally. More than the 32 Yesterdays, or 41 Day-Before-That’s. He wonders how many Tomorrows will be added to the already 15 Tomorrows he's already been subjected to. Probably not many as it was his day off sentry duty and the demon flower gets board when nothing it does is able to bring Sans from his room. It's become his End of Week tradition. It was his 3rd This Week by the way … hopefully the weed would get bored with This Month sooner than Last Months and let Next Month appear without having to see too many deaths … asking for none was too much to Hope from it, Sans knew by now. 

2 more "days" and he'd catch up to the furthest this timeline had progressed again, so that was something new to look forward too. Possibly. 

The clock mocks Sans, blaring it’s knowledge in glowing blood red and menacingly.

4:35:53 AM.

3 minutes and 26 seconds after the last reset wakes him.

A verse of a nursery rhyme flashes through his mind.

_Tick tock, goes the clock,_

_And all the years they fly,_

_Tick tock, and all to soon,_

_You and I must die._

It’s from Doctor Who if he remembers right.

Sans can count the times he’s actually died on one hand. All surprise attacks, sudden and without warning. There weren't many of those anymore, probably because it was a 'boring death.' But the fact that he still has a number to count for something like that is messed up.

As for his brother … he doesn’t have enough digits. It is both a comfort and a curse that his brother doesn’t seem to remember. If he did know, he would be more wary of his flowery friend.

4:36:15 AM.

Papyrus should be calling Sans down at 6:01:17 AM Today. If he doesn't get up past 7:13:58 AM Papyrus comes to get him anyway. Then Sans only has till 7:28: 45 AM to be ready for work or Papyrus gets worried. Past that, more of the same until the weed shows his flowery face - then anything could happen. Including genocide. Then, if Sans is the last one, if the weed doesn’t go to him, he will go to it.

And then they will fight for as long as it takes to quit. It’s personal best being 107 before getting frustrated enough to reset. Luckily it seems to have decided Sans was more trouble than he was worth and he’d be lucky if the fight is limited to a repeat only once or twice. Unlucky, he was looking at around 50.

But that was only if it went that far. Which was about 1 in 5. Luckily the weed seemed to want as many alive as possible when it gets bored of one timespan to move onto the next. Mostly to just kill them again, but it means time is still moving with people alive and well. Even if it takes Sans a little longer than most to see it.

Another glance at the taunting clock.

4:37:47 AM.

Sans wonders if there's a way out of this. One he hasn’t tried before.

His exhausted mind catches up with him and he falls into a deep sleep.

***

As if he had merely blinked, he is awoken by a bang of his room door slamming open and a very excited Papyrus shaking him.

“SANS!!! OH MY STARS SANS, LOOK!!! I GOT A LETTER!”

Before looking at the letter, a very confused Sans glances at the clock. 

6:00:54 AM.

Still Today.

But … what???

“I KNEW SOMEDAY SOMEONE WOULD RECOGNIZE MY GREATNESS! I. AM. SO ... EXCITED!!! WHAT DO YOU THINK IT SAYS!?”

Sans is immediately suspicious Flowey gave Papyrus the letter in order to lure him into more … creative situations. To try something new.

But why Today 47?

He decides he doesn’t care. It's not like it’s going to be for any other reason other than ‘it could, so it did.’

He realizes he hasn’t answered his bro. He’s too tired for this.

“oh. i, uh. dunno. maybe read it?”

“OF COURSE! EXCELLENT IDEA BROTHER. I SHALL BEGIN WITH THE EXTERIOR, NATURALLY. *AHEM* TO S-Sans …”

“wut?” 

“I-IT APPEARS THAT I HAVE MADE A MISCALCULATION. SOMEONE MUST HAVE GIVEN UP THE ATTEMPT OF CRAMMING MORE CORRESPONDENCE INTO YOUR ADDRESS RECIPROCAL … AND NEEDED TO RESORT TO USING MY OWN. YOU SHOULD REALLY SORT YOUR MAIL BOX CONTENTS YOU KNOW.”

Papyrus looked dejected.

“bro, i'm sor-”

“IT IS OF NO CONSEQUENCE!” he said with forced cheer. “NOW, I AM GOING TO COOK BREAKFAST SPAGHETTI! A LOT! AND AS SUCH, IT MAY TAKE SOME TIME! I WILL CALL YOU WHEN IT IS READY! THERE IS NO NEED TO COME DOWN UNTIL THEN, OR OFFER ANY HELP!”

He was gone before Sans could say anything. He let out a rough sigh.

"...ok."

The empty room did not reply.

Papyrus could be stubborn sometimes and it was near impossible to get him to admit when he was upset by something, even if it was usually easy to tell. Sans knew that even if he attempted to press the situation, Papyrus would continue to act happy as long as he was in company. At least alone he wouldn’t put on a mask.

The brothers had that in common. However, nothing kept Papyrus down for long. He'd be fine.

He'd be fine.

Sans frowned down at the letter as much as he could, eyesockets dark.

‘To Sans’ it claimed in his very own font.

Dreading what Flowey may have in store for him, it takes him longer then he would admit to pick it up and open it. There were a surprising number of pages inside.

“ _dear sans of undertale_copy208,_ ” It began, weirdly enough...

\---

_“hey pal. sorry about sending this to your papyrus, but i figured it was the quickest way to send out this info and see that you and the others actually get it (and i’m too lazy to go in person so here we are)._

_an introduction is in order. i’m sans. sans the skeleton. wacky right? (to keep things simple you can call me ‘classic.’) well, wonder how this is possible no longer - the multiverse is closer than you think, bud. now, that isn’t necessarily a good thing._

_i, as well as the other representatives of the star council have been tasked with spreading awareness about threats to the multiverse. but firstly, a little info about the multiverse itself can’t hurt ;)_

_the multiverse is categorized by giving an au (alternate universe) a name. each au is vastly different from one another. for example, our au is under the name undertale and are very similar. other examples of au’s that exist are underfell, where things are ‘kill or be killed,’ or underswap, where everyone's personalities are swapped - and many more. it gets weird out there._

_copies (parallel universes) of an au are given a number. i’m from undertale 1. you’re from undertale 208. we should be pretty similar, but obviously there are differences other than when our universes were created, but i was to lazy to check specifics (also your copy number is just being filed in by a program_ _to save time and wrist pain_ _)._

_this is where things can get interesting - given enough changes to a timeline, a copy can gain the status of au if the changes remain permanently. for example, in some copies/au’s we aren’t the … friendliest skeleton. like, "murder everyone in insanity" not friendly._

_that brings us to the persons of interest in the multiverse you should look out for. there are three notable ones._

_biggest one you should look out for is a sans by the name ‘error.’ like his name suggests, error is covered in glitches and error symbols. this guy isn’t given the title ‘destroyer of worlds’ for nothing. he can, and will, kill everyone you love if he targets your world and proceed to delete your universe from existence - there are no resets from this. further description on this fella on page 3._

_next up, there’s 'nightmare' - king of negativity. covered in black goop with five tentacles protruding from his back, this sans doesn’t work alone. killer, dust, horror and cross are his most loyal lackeys. he feeds off negative emotions to get stronger, so while he won’t kill everyone, they’ll certainly wish he had. he also tends to be the most cunning of the three and is a strategist. more about all these fellas pages 4-7._

_finally, we’ve got ‘fresh.’ don’t let his 90’s nightmare of a getup fool you. he may look like a sans, but he isn’t - he is piloting one though. fresh is an interdimensional parasite that feeds off of souls - his favorite host being of the undertale sans variety, unfortunately for us, and has been seen in all manor of au causing trouble. more on page 8._

_worst of all, these three don’t always act alone, sometimes banning together to take out universes as a group._

_if you see any of them attacking, do what you can to buy time and evacuate people. help will arrive when it can._

_backup will involve at least one of the following: dream (guardian of positivity), ink (creator of au’s) and blue (underswap sans 337). (more on these three page 9)_

_best strategies for delay and fighting are on their pages._

_sanscerely, classic (sans of undertale_1)”_

_\---_

The next several pages were filled with physical descriptions, fighting preferences, magic capabilities and even a couple exploitable weaknesses such as the location of Fresh’s host's soul, Nightmares blind side, and Errors aversion to touch.

The page about the allies you can expect included who was best suited for which fight: Ink vs Error; Nightmare vs Dream; and surprisingly, Blue manages to hold his ground against all 4 of Nightmares goons with minimal assistance. Sans remembers that Blue was from Underswap, meaning swapped personalities. He wanders who's personality it was ... maybe Undyne? What a terrifying combination that would be. Sans shudders at the thought ... Sans didn’t think Flowey would be creative enough to create this, nor did he see any reason it would benefit it. And if it wasn’t the weed …

Then that left …

Sans let out a sigh as he let himself fall backward into his bed, his arms splaying, a paper held loosely in one hand. 

This was … a lot to process.

He glanced at the clock.

6:32:28 AM.

He held the page above him as he took another look at the small sketch of a dark glitchy skeleton with tear streaks. He groaned and rubbed his other hand down his face, letting the hand with the paper fall down again.

So … not only did he have to deal with a demented time traveling weed ... but there was also a chance he’d come across threats big enough to wipe out his universe.

Great … just … great ...

He wandered idly if the other copies had more, or less resets than this one. If they also kept vigilant count. The description under Error said he targeted the ones with the power to reset first. The flower … and the last human. 

But Sans only knew of the Flower. 

Maybe this Classic had made a mistake. But he had also mentioned how his universe was created at a different time. So … maybe Classic was further along in the timeline?

Maybe there was even a Copy already on the Surface.

The thought made him slowly sit up and blink.

If he could update the machine in his basement to somehow detect alternate universes … than narrow it down to ones without a barrier and preferably little to no resets … maybe he could convert it to let him and his bro travel there ...? Then if it works he could scale it up and have the Underground leave that way - and leave that demonic weed in the dust!

The more he entertained the idea, the more appealing the idea became when the alternative was more of the same.

Or insanity, as that was apparently a very real possibility. 3 out of 4 Nightmare lackeys were from AU’s that began as an Undertale timeline and went mad from the resets after all. Though head injury also seemed to play a part for Horror.

Sans hadn’t even gotten to the human that would supposedly fall and already …

6:41:32 AM.

… he may just be losing it a little. Not “kill everyone” crazy - that was just … unthinkable - but perhaps a little obsessed with numbers. Time especially. Hell, at this point he probably doesn’t even need to look at the clock to tell time, he’s just perpetually counting it without meaning to - it was just a comforting habit to tell himself that, yes, time is still moving forward.

He even spent 394 resets restoring a snazzy pocket watch he found in the dump, including the amount of time he had to repeat the process of just getting it home. It was well worth the effort, despite his phone having a time function.

To everyone else, it had taken him 7 days to restore it to perfection in his spare time. For him? It took almost a year, but he did it. He’s lucky Flowey has stopped resetting by week so much by that point, focusing on days. 

Though even Sans was smart enough to boycott maintenance on his watch if a number of the population was wiped out - the weed always reset those so he could ‘play’ more with whomever he had ‘broken’ and it was obvious the progress wasn’t going to stick.

And if he could do it before …

6:44:59 AM.

… who’s to say he couldn’t do the same with his machine?

Sans’ smile turned a little manic.

For the longest time, he had been floundering without a goal much more than ‘don’t worry Papyrus.’ But now he had a goal that could get him and his brother to the Surface. A chance for time to actually _count_.

And a way to leave that fucking weed where it belongs - _i n t h e d i r t ._

... even a Dark Sans would be wary of the expression on his face at this moment.

Desperate people are dangerous after all.

But to avoid too much suspicion, Sans should probably wait for Tomorrow and go with the routine for Today when he leaves.

“SANS! BREAKFAST SPAGHETTI IS READY!” Papyrus called up, sounding much happier.

Sans schooled his expression to something less terrifying.

“ok.” 

There was more skip in his step than usual as he sauntered down to enjoy some spaghetti breakfast.

Today 47 turned out to be good for something after all.

***

Sans had finally done it. 

He hopes.

It wasn’t the prettiest looking machine anymore - the insides were mostly outsides at this point - but it should function.

It had taken him 9 “days,” but he did it. He had really lucked out on the timing of that letter. Since the next days were new, changing his schedule didn't get too much suspicion from the flower at first. He wouldn’t have been able to trial and error his way through some of those tests without the resets though - he maaay have blown up his house ... 13 times. 

Was it the tiniest bit funny he ended up dying to explosions more than he did by that time traveling murder plant? A little. Twice he thought he had even glimpsed Gaster, but he decided that was a trick of the light. He had avoided tampering with that string of code further just in case though.

Papyrus seemed happy he had something to occupy his time with too - even if it meant using his vacation days. It just drove him to work harder. Though Sans practically lived in his lab coat now, hoodie under the increasingly dirty fabric, much to Papyrus’ frustration.

He probably would have never attempted something large scale like this had it not been for his pocket watch. It was proof of concept and a symbol he still could make a difference. He had attached the time piece to a chain and wore it like a medal. 

A subtle ‘fuck you’ to time shenanigans'. Even though he was fully using them to his advantage.

Unlike with the creation of the watch, Sans did not stop for a high fatality run - only a full genocide. He would simply become more experimental and less concerned with safety. Hence, explosions. It was very informative. He now knew what _not_ to do.

It was actually pretty amusing to see the look of confusion on its usually smug face in the next Today after his first mishap, as explosions were not a typical part of the routine. Not unless it was the weeds own doing. It had become even more wary of Sans since then, rightly fearing he was up to something. As a result, the resets kept coming in numbers closer to that of the 1st Month ... but Sans kept at it.

Anytime Flowey would try to get info out of him, Sans would just smile and give vague statements about a new hobby, adding a few science puns. They flower would shudder and flee more times than not to Sans’ relief. It never did like science puns.

One time, during a genocide timeline fight, Sans had slipped in a new set of dialogue, just to see what would happen.

“hey bub. got a new joke for ya. what do you think happens when you drive a scientist mad? heh, heh … things get _blown_ outta proportion.” A summoned circle of blasters accentuating his point.

Sans had laughed and smiled so hard - the demon had reset then and there, the blasters not even having time to fully charge. 

7:37:46 PM, Month 7 after the start of the resets, Week 2 number 1, Day 5’s Reset 12 was a good one … he’d have to remember it. It had been so long since he had had such a good laugh.

He hadn’t stopped laughing even after the reset and had ended up waking Papyrus. But that was fine. It was better than screams.

Luckily he hasn’t had to fight the weed since. It left him more time for the machine. The weed had even cut back on resets a bit - for about three days - which helped things move along considerably.

He considered the option of scaring Flowey off of resets after that, but restrained himself thinking about how quickly that could spiral into becoming one of the ‘not so nice’ skeletons. Besides, it would only be a temporary measure and would speed the arrival of the next time anomaly - the one that had an even higher probability of driving him truly mad supposedly.

So he ignored the flower, and it avoided him. Which brings him to Today 36.

Before him is the remodified machine.

A quick glance at his watch showed the time.

5:55:56 PM.

The area around the machine is pretty much a disaster zone, full of litter, scrap and in some places ketchup bottles. The walls are covered in complicated physics and formulas - as well as strings numbers that only made sense to Sans that indicated specific memorable moments. It really looked like he had fallen down the mad scientist path at this point, but that was fine - it was done.

He had already selected one of the AU’s that met his criteria. It was listed as a string of letters and numbers like all the others, as he didn’t know what it was classified as by the Star Council, and it’s not like he has much data on what each AU is like in the first place to give accurate names.

His requirements were as follows: No barrier, no resets. Monsters and Humans living peacefully on the Surface.

He would have chosen one without humans, but Papyrus had always wanted to meet one so … humans it was.

The lack of barrier and resets were easy to add by excluding results showing their specific magic frequencies present in the worlds.

It was a shock to see that there were some AU’s without _any_ resets, but he shouldn’t have been surprised. What _was_ a surprise was to see his universe had a higher than average reset rate, so the sooner they left the better. 

There were quite a few without barriers as well.

He couldn’t really build a program to separate peaceful universes, but he came as close as he could. He could specify minimal human/monster murder rates by searching for low LV frequencies from humans and monsters within 50 mile radius of the machine - by no means perfect, but it should narrow it down. 

It had taken a few extra resets to come up with that idea, but when he sensed Flowey's high LV through the wall as he no doubt murdered everyone in Snowdin again, it came to him.

He had managed to narrow it down to 204850 AU’s and/or Copies … at least it gave a number now. Before, it just came up with 'Error' there were so many.

Unable to decide, Sans quickly created a Random button that would pick one from the list of those he narrowed it down to. Let the machine decide for him.

His most vital notes were tucked into the safety of his inventory, just in case the Flower managed to break in here while he was gone. One also needed fingers to operate the machine.

Wouldn’t do well to let flowers follow, now would it?

He had one final thing left to decide … did he bring Papyrus with him for the live test, or does he wait till he knows it works by testing it alone?

Sure, if they blew up, Flowey would just reset, but it would intentionally be putting Papyrus at risk, even if it wasn’t permanent. 

He also didn’t want to be the one to make the choice for him.

5:58:12 PM. 

Papyrus should be finished his training with Undyne and on his way back.

...He’ll have to tell him, won't he? 

…

It was harder to do than he thought it would be, but he gave Papyrus a call.

“HELLO SANS! I WAS JUST RETURNING WITH THE SPOILS OF YET ANOTHER GREAT TRAINING SESSION WITH UNDYNE! SHE SEEMED TENSE TODAY, BUT MY PRESENCE WAS ENOUGH TO BRING BACK THAT SMILE SHE LOVES TO WEAR SO MUCH, NYEH HEH HEH!”

“sounds great bro. after we eat, i was wondering if i could show you something.”

“SHOW ME SOMETHING ...? GASP! ARE YOU REFERRING TO THE SUPER SECRET PROJECT YOU HAVE BEEN PASSIONATELY TAKEN WITH RECENTLY? THE ONE IN OUR BASEMENT???” 

“yup.”

“WOWIE!!! I’LL BE RIGHT OVER! EVEN THOUGH I WAS GOING THERE ANYWAY! NYEH HEH HEH!”

Papyrus hung up.

He would no doubt be here very shortly.

Sans half heartedly cleared a path to the machine. Good enough.

He knew Papyrus had arrived by the slam of the front door opening. A quick shortcut and he was in the living room in front of an excited Papyrus.

“hey bro.” he relaxed at seeing Papyrus’ energy and gave a genuine, if tired smile.

He didn’t see the flash of yellow heading toward the back of the house as Papyrus closed the door.

***

(Authors Note: Now, see - i _could_ have left it here as a cliffhanger, like any other self respecting author would. But i like you tho. So have some more - i know you’re _really_ here for the bitties anyway)

***

“SO. YOU CREATED A MACHINE THAT WILL BRING MONSTERS TO THE SURFACE - BUT NOT OUR SURFACE - WHERE HUMANS AND MONSTERS ARE ALREADY MINGLING. BUT YOU NEED TO TEST IF IT REALLY WORKS, AND YOU WERE WONDERING IF I WOULD JOIN YOU IN IT’S TRIAL RUN?”

“that about _sums_ it up.”

“AND YOU GOT THIS IDEA FROM A LETTER, SENT FROM AN ALTERNATE YOU IN A DIFFERENT UNIVERSE, THAT WAS SOMEHOW IN THE FUTURE???”

“yup.”

“WOWIE!!! I’LL PACK MY BAGS!” Papyrus said excited.

“really…?” Sans asks nervously.

“REALLY! CAN YOU PICTURE IT SANS? THE GREAT PAPYRUS, THE FIRST TO TRAVEL TO ANOTHER REALITY! I’LL BE SO POPULAR!!! IT’S JUST LIKE THOSE CHILD CARTOONS UNDYNE LIKES!”

With that, Papyrus ran up to pack.

Sans sighed, but couldn’t help a smile and chuckle. Of course Papyrus would want to come. He's cool like that.

“join me in the basement when you’re ready bro!”

Papyrus gave an affirmative and Sans teleported to the machine to give it one more once over.

All good.

6:14:17 PM.

He was peering into the inside where he and Papyrus would have to stand when they turned it on. It would be a tight fight, but he was sure they would make it work.

He heard the door open behind him and he called out to Papyrus.

“hey, bro. i was sure you would have taken long-”

That wasn’t Papyrus.

"-er."

Sans froze.

“Don’t think I don’t know what you planning trashbag.” Flowey spat, demonic face leering. “You’re trying to get rid of me, aren’t you? Well - I won’t let you! Not even this DOOR would stop me forever!”

Flowey laughed evilly as he summoned a thick vine to toss Sans into the machine.

The force of the whip like attack was enough to crack a couple ribs. His radius snapped near his wrist when he tried to use a hand to cushion his land as he hit the back of the machine's insides.

-0.6 hp.

???

There was no killing intent in the blow. The damage was purely physical.

Confused and in pain, the door hissed shut as Flowey managed to summon enough vines to mimic fingers.

“Killing you won't be enough anymore - have a taste of whatever it was you tried to do to me!” Flowey cackled. “DIE!”

Flowey hit enter and the machine hummed to life, quickly building up a near blinding light.

The last thing he saw was a shocked Papyrus standing in the doorway. He was holding many bags and wearing an outfit more appropriate for a beach trip than Snowdin.

“S-Sans …?” The glass and machine made Papyrus' loud voice muffled.

The bags dropped to the floor.

Flowey looked between the brothers, surprised by the new arrival ... before giving Sans it’s most manic smile yet.

“RUN!” Sans yelled to Papyrus, praying he would listen.

Sans felt an intense crushing feeling that was more than just dread.

And then he was gone.

***

(Author's Note: I could have totally left it here too XD)

***

*Bittytale_Copy38*

***

Suddenly, Sans is falling. It didn’t take him long to land.

He landed badly, pain going through his ribs and radius. He groaned as he pushed himself up with his working arm into a sitting position. He was dizzy, tingly and slightly smoking.

He reached to grab the pocket watch and was relieved to see it was not damaged.

Not that he could see much. Did he mention it was dark? Because it was.

Did he end up in another AU like the machine was meant to do …? Hopefully. It's sad Papyrus wouldn’t be able to join this time, but Sans knew at least Flowey would probably reset after he was done … probably. There was always next time. He’d definitely have to create a more thought out security system than ‘need fingers to operate,’ because apparently that wasn’t enough anymore.

And that was when he noticed another pair of eyelights. They were red.

“how in the fuck..?” a gravelly voice from their direction.

Sans sight had adapted enough to make out two other forms. And yep. They looked just like silhouettes of Sans and Papyrus. Or, very close at least. It was still dark. Was it night? That answered weather he was in another universe at the very least though. So that was something. 

He looked at their surroundings. They appeared to be in some sort of room without windows or doors. No wonder they seemed surprised to see someone 'drop in.'

Welp, ok then. One thing at a time - introductions seems like a good start. Good thing he thought this far ahead. Classic's nickname had him thinking about some he could use.

Hopefully it wasn’t already taken, or things could be awkward.

“hi. i’m undertale sans number 208.” He stood up and held out his good arm. “you can call me count.”

And promptly passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, deciding which cliffhanger to use: tHiRd oNes ThE cHaRm -3-
> 
> yes it took Flowey about 15 min to figure out how to open that door with his lack of hands, when he could have listened in on their conversation and know what's up. that is a thing. he may have time shenanigans' on his side, but that doesn't make him the brightest bulb.
> 
> most i know about swapfell/fellswap red, purple and gold is: red is regular, purple has a class based society with slavery, and gold - money is power. i think. idk. not many fics include the variety and just pick their fav bits or just choose one ... which is what i plan with their bitty versions XD but i thought they at least deserved the cameo at the meeting
> 
> just a heads up, don't except chapters to always be this long - i have no schedule and i have another fic. this was basically a two in one. 
> 
> but it would be really touching if you left a comment or critique owo ...?
> 
> i wonder ... do you think Sans thought about how to get back? *laughs in author*


	2. A Tiny Misunderstanding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enough with the suspense i say! who are these fell bitties and where are they coming from?  
> ... i may have slipped some feels into this silly little fic. i didn't plan it, but it's here.
> 
> each group is under the impression the situation is different than it is ... let the misunderstanding commence =)

The two edgy bitties exchanged a look as the Sansy named Count collapsed. They were thinking the same thing. 

Who the fuck was this bitty?

First, he manages to teleport through a solid object to get inside the box, a feat of magic in a bitty near unheard of. Secondly, he calls himself “Undertale Sans number 208.” It was possible he was referring to being the 208th Sansy produced, making him about 20 years old, but neither knew what the hell he was referring to when he said “Undertale.” 

Maybe it was the street name of his last family.

The shorter fell bitty was wearing a black jacket with fur lining, He looked to his taller counterpart (wearing a red and black plaid cardigan) who was staring at the collapsed heap in befuddlement. To anyone unfamiliar with this taller fell type of bitty, they would have mistaken most his expressions for constant glaring. 

The smoke appeared to be clearing at least, and hadn’t risen to an uncomfortable level. 

“hey uh, dagger …” The shorter asks, sweating and fingers flexing. “you think this is gonna look … bad?” 

“HUH?”

The taller fell, Dagger, finally taking his eyes off the surprise guest. It had been clear by the way the Sansy had gotten up that he was at least somewhat injured.

Dagger scoffed realizing what was insinuated.

“AND WHY WOULD WE LOOK BAD, CLOAK?” He crossed his arms, not making eye contact, looking anything but happy. “WE ARE CLEARLY NOT AT THE FAULT OF THIS BITTY PUSHING HIS LIMITS.”

The shorter fell, named Cloak, shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

“… we both know they’re not gonna listen to that. they’re gonna take one look at an injured bitty in a box with two fells and that’s that.” then quieter, he added. “and when they see our records of returns and … well.”

Near imperceptibly, Dagger began to pout as he tapped his foot. He knew this wasn’t a good situation for them, but it was just unfair.

The two of them had been passed from one home to the next, being blamed for destruction and other things. Sure, they were indeed the culprit for _some_ things, as Cloak had a bad habit of breaking and clawing things when stressed, and Dagger did not feel safe around animals or being physically handled by children and strangers and would fire off a few warning shots when things went too far. 

But half the time it was because a pre existing pet or child instigated the behavior - but that couldn’t _possibly_ be the real culprit, as fells were notorious house wreckers and can be violent. The entitlement of some people...

Who cares if the pamphlet explains it’s due to stressful environments and they were bitties recommended for those without pets or children? Not enough potential buyers, that’s for sure.

Who cares that they were originally created for a specific, at risk demographic, in order to fight off burglars and assholes, or to ensure that someone was able to call help should someone end up in a nasty situation? A demographic including elderly, special needs and people with traumatic experiences that don’t feel safe alone?

Who cares that somewhere in the creation process something “went wrong” causing them to lean toward less than savory speech patterns? Granny knew the f-word looong before her kids were even a _consideration_ , sweetie. No need for any lawsuits to get in a twist about it.

They are not a regular family pet. They are a protective bitty type meant for guarding a single, or maybe - _maybe_ \- double ward. A family was too many to keep track of for a four inch guard. The problem was, the company hadn't expected just how many people would ignore the very clear guidelines.

It seemed like everyone forgot that, what with how ‘cool’ looking they were, they were meant to be a working bitty. And now their reputation has gone to shit and debates about discontinuing their type are ongoing.

A fell bitty bites a child because they can’t breathe in their crushing grip? The bitties fault for not “playing nice.” Attacking abusive parents to protect the kids the bitty for obvious reasons? Those things are fucking farrel.

There was no winning where kids were involved.

Not everything was shit though. Once in a while a good fit would show up.

The best place Cloak and Dagger had stayed, by far, was a retirement home. Their Old Lady was a recent widow and an Alzheimer's patient. She’d often ask where her husband was and would thank the “small gentlemen” for their help, even if half the time she didn’t recognize them.

She was such a sweet Old Lady. Her husband had gotten them as a gift. When he was asked why fell bitties, he simply said, “With two spitfires such as yourselves watching over my bunny, I can rest easy knowing she’s safe.”

It was only after he had passed soon after that they learned he was ex-military and had been awarded multiple badges for valor. 

They would have given their life for that Lady. But time was not on their side and one night, she quietly passed in her sleep to follow her husband. Her once bright, warm green soul was gone by the morning.

Of course, things went to shit again, real fast.

The month that followed was the worst in their lives as the greedy grandchild that never visited decided to try a hand at bitty fighting. The two had almost lost Hope several times over that month. But luckily the idiot forgot his phone a little too close to the cage one day and they had managed to call the police. He and several others got busted.

Cloak had been through two fights and Dagger had managed his one. 

The next owner had had enough of dealing with the “extra baggage from an ex fighter.” And now, here they were. Abandoned once again on the next center's doorstep.

Hopefully they would get another chance. But it was slim. And now that this injured bitty was here? The odds looked damn impossible.

“WELL. SEEING AS THIS IS A BAD SITUATION ALL AROUND. I ELECT TO ATTEMPT … HEALING MAGIC.”

Dagger scowled knowing he was possibly about to drain a significant store of magic. They had experience healing after they were forced from necessity to learn the skill. Neither were very good at it. He began to approach the other bitty cautiously. It would be better to pass out from lack of magic than pass up the chance of not being so screwed. 

“you sure ...?” Cloak asked, fingers still flexing. 

Cloak really wanted to just shred some cardboard, but he knew from experience a few places take that negatively. Though … maybe he could get away with a couple of good scratches without it being seen as an escape attempt …? Maybe this place had someone with more than two brain cells to rub together and could see it for what it was without being all in his face about it.

Besides. Like _hell_ a bitty with a lick of sense would attempt to cut it on their own on the streets. Not only were there predators, but if a bitty couldn’t get enough soul energy for a few weeks, they’d be dust anyway. Not to mention food and clean water. And it probably wasn’t the best idea to cuddle up with some homeless guy without ‘em knowing … though that probably worked for some, Cloak would be beyond stressed about it.

As Dagger was about to pass him to get to Count, Cloak added, “we don’ know how bad it is an’ it still might not help our situation.”

Dagger lightly hit the back of Cloak's head as he passed.

“THE SEVERITY IS OF NO CONCERN TO WHAT MUST BE DONE. AND REGARDLESS OF THE USEFULNESS OF HELPING THIS BITTY, I REFUSE TO TAKE THE CHANCE THAT IT WILL NOT AT LEAST PROVIDE SOME AID TO OUR SITUATION. I EXPECT YOU TO ASSIST AND ACTUALLY PULL YOUR WEIGHT FOR A CHANGE.”

Cloak gave an exaggerated sigh, but followed him over. When Dagger really made a decision, he stuck to it. He hadn't been making many recently and Cloak had been worried. He had taken the Old Lady's death and following fight exceedingly hard. He knew he was a softy on the inside, so having to kill after the life they had had ... it took a lot out of him.

Cloak clawed the wall of the box in some spots as he made his way over. He made sure they were shallow enough that it won't leave holes. Satisfying as it was, feeling the cardboard shred a bit under his claws, it didn’t do much for his nerves. He knew he wasn’t as skilled as Dagger at healing, but what he lacked in quality he could make up in quantity and get a similar result.

The two did their best to examine him for injuries and treat what they could.

He had a radial break near his wrist. It was snapped cleanly, making what should have been one bone into two. The only thing keeping the bone from swinging about was the Sansy’s own mana lines struggling to reconnect the two sides. 

Cloak wrinkled his nasal ridge. He had gotten a similar one when he failed to break his fall properly during his last fight. It looked like it would heal well at least.

Furthermore, his sternum and several ribs were covered in cracks - two pretty bad, three lighter in severity. 

He was leaking red from the worst cracks and radius. 

This _really_ didn’t look good for them seeing how recent the injuries were. They were unsure if they would even be able to heal him all the way, or even enough to cover most of the damage. But they would try. They were lucky they probably had a few hours before the center opened. They were gonna need it.

How the guy had managed to hide his pain so well was a mystery. There didn’t appear to be any scars from previous injuries, so it wasn’t likely experience.

Cloak whistles at the damage.

Dagger took the lead.

“I WILL TAKE THE RIBS, AS THEY REQUIRE MORE DELICACY. YOU TAKE THE RADIUS. IT IS LUCKY IT IS LINED UP WELL. IF EITHER OF US FINISH BEFORE THE OTHER, WE FORM A JOINT EFFORT.”

When it comes to breaks, the cleaner the break, the cleaner the heal … if one had the energy for it. That’s where Cloak came in.

“you got it _boss_.” He said with a wink, sweating with nerves.

“UGH.” Dagger proclaimed, pouting. “YOU KNOW I DISLIKE YOU CALLING ME BY TYPE! THAT IT DOUBLED AS A PUN MADE IT DOUBLY PAINFUL.”

“you’re absolutely right. i’ve seen the error of my ways.” A pause and a shit eating grin. “glad ya could _edge_ me in the right direction.”

“THIS IS THE WORST. YOU ARE A HORRIBLE CREATURE. AND I HATE YOU.”

Dagger sent a small bone attack his way without even glancing his way and Cloak easily dodged.

They both set to work, hands glowing green healing magic.

“same.” He said, as he worked on Count’s arm. “but y’know what they say. ‘sticks and stones …’”

“... THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY TASTLEST.”

“i know … but it cracked me up.”

“FUCK YOU.”

They were both smiling. Well, Dagger was trying not too and would deny it.

Whether to hide or postpone the underlying worry about what might happen to them next, they still smiled. They’d worry about that when it came up. At least they weren’t alone.

The two healed Count to the best of their abilities, right until their magic reserves ran dry. They were rather pleased with the result. He would have scars, but they did well. It was their best work yet.

Then the bitties did what any bitty would do after exhausting themselves. 

And settled back to sleep next to the closest source of soul energy.

***

It was brighter when Sans - Count - began to wake. And warm. The cave lighting must be sneaking through his curtains again. Must be Tomorrow. He didn’t bother opening his eyes. Firsts were always a little stressful, and a little exciting, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. He was pretty apathetic to things, but he had a goal now.

Count was quite cozy and about to go back to sleep, amused about the dream he had about his machine working. Well, maybe not the way he had planned, but it got there in the end. It put him in a good mood and he decided to treat his lazier side a bit.

He shifted to get even more comfortable and there was a grunt and mumbling as his elbow bumped something. The sound was not from him.

His eyes lit up and he was up like a light trying to get some distance from the other him only to trip a bit over the Papyrus alternate who also grunted awake.

He was a couple feet away when he turned to the other Sans who groggily said, “what the fuck’s wrong wit’ ya?” He seemed to be scanning the room for disturbances but didn’t seem to find any and laid back down. “go back ta sleep. we should be taken in soon.”

“NO.” The Papyrus got up. “WE SHOULD PROBABLY BE AWAKE FOR THAT SO WE AREN’T JOSTLED TO BAD. AND IT WON'T DO WELL FOR YOU TO LAZE AROUND AND TARNISH ARE REPUTATION FURTHER.” 

The Papyrus appeared to be glaring back and forth between the Sans’.

Now that there was more light, he could clearly see their … sharper appearance. The other him even had a gold tooth.

“ok. woah.” Count said, not following. “taken in? jostled? and why the hell were you cuddling me???”

The red eyed Sans snorted as he stood. “heh. sansy said ‘hell.’ nice.” Then he looked confused and a bit angry/offended as the next bit processed. “what the fuck are ya talking about cuddling for? no need to make the pile weird bub. no one likes that kind o’ bitty. where the fuck were you raised?”

“oh, _sorry_ for not enjoying the surprise of another encroaching on my personal space as i sleep.”

The other Sans was in his face in a flash. His fingers flexed as he stared him down.

“keep it up, _pet_ and see if i ever heal your ass again.”

“OKAY!” The two receive hits to the backs of their heads. “WE ALL NEED TO TAKE A STEP BACK. OR ELSE. AND CLOAK, THERE WAS NO NEED TO USE THAT KIND OF LANGUAGE, EVEN IF COUNT IS AT FAULT.”

Count was blinking at the fact that a Papyrus had hit him. Not hard, but still. He must be experiencing culture shock.

“i’ll fucking call him a "pet" if i want because he fucking is! a fucking entitled little _pet_ sansy. you see his lab coat and stuff. that shit custom.”

“THAT MAY BE, BUT CLEARLY SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED FOR HIM TO BE HERE NOW.”

“but dagger, he-”

“NO.”

“he’s just so-”

“NO.”

“just one hit-”

“ABSOLUTELY NOT!" His hand were on his hip and he was tapping his foot. "WE DIDN’T JUST HEAL HIM TO BEAT HIM UP ALL OVER AGAIN. YOU KNOW WHAT COULD HAPPEN.”

“… tch. fine.” He went over to a wall and began slashing at it.

Recovering from the smack, Count noticed there were other marks on some other walls. Weirdly, the walls looked like … cardboard??? He put that bizarreness out of his mind. The letter did say things got weird. Oh - maybe it was normal to cuddle here and that’s why they were mad? That really is weird. And was probably wrong. He’d have to find a library and do some research before returning. Probably ask his and his brothers' alternates about the place if he can get on better terms.

He could leave Papyrus in his world for a few days. Or months, seeing as even if things are reset there, things should keep moving here at a rate of about 35 to 1 days on average. What a weird concept in itself, to have time move normally. If he timed it well enough, he could probably appear home before he even left if he wanted - just wait until Flowey reset the week - but that would involve a lot of chance and be kinda pointless and risky. Should take about two weeks to recreate the machine and do research. Then he can get a feel for the area and head home a few seconds after he left to give Asgore the news … or just his bro depending on some things.

He took out his watch.

2:34:56 AM.

Still ticking. But judging by the light, it was inaccurate. Probably a change in time zone. But it was about 8 hours since he got there. He’d have to fix his watch asap.

He paid the Papyrus' gaze little attention, as he had been watching him and his alternate quietly with what seemed be a glaring intensity. 

Then he realized something about the light, as where he was supposed to be just clicked - the Surface.

“holy shit ... is this real sunlight!?”

He couldn’t help stare at it in aw, eyelights no doubt dilating largely in a way they haven’t in years. Since childhood even. He gave an experimental swipe through the beam of light, putting his hand in it for longer each time. The sound of clawing had stopped, but he was entranced and payed it no mind. Then, he found himself a spot to have the most hit him as he closed his eyes. It was warm. Warmer than the lights in the Underground and so much nicer. There was a rumbling sound, but he ignored that too. He just … if he could just stay like this forever. Or at least the next … day or so.

“HAVE YOU … NEVER SEEN SUNLIGHT BEFORE…?”

The rumbling stopped as he remembered he wasn’t alone. The Papyrus was watching him.

His reply was a near whisper. “no … never. i had no clue it was so … warm. i mean i had heard rumors from the old timers, but the artificial lights just don’t compare.” and even quieter, he looked up at the beaming warm light. “i wish papyrus was here to see this with me.”

He missed the concerned looks the two shot each other.

“AND … WHERE WERE YOU BEFORE YOU WERE HERE?”

“i was home.” Count explained. “the sun doesn’t reach the underground.”

“but .. you’ve been to a bitty center before, right? right?? how could you’ve not seen the sun before?”

Count looks away from the light at the questions confused.

“you’ve said that word before but … what’s a bitty?”

***

(Authors Note: oh god - resist the crazy cliffhanger potential - your nowhere near 3000 words yet! sees it's 3167 ... keeps going anyway XD)

***

The two looked at him like he was crazy.

(Not) 2:41:28 AM.

Not even the right kind of crazy. Rude. Do new interdimensional travelers get this a lot? Probably. 

Cloak spoke haltingly and with concern that didn’t look like it fit on his sharp face as he attempted to explain.

“you … _you_ are a bitty. we?” he pointed between him and Dagger like he was an idiot. “we are bitties. bitties … are … a bitty is … you - you must be shitting us right? There’s no way you don’t know what a bitty is.”

Count tapped his chin. “sooo it’s like a different term for monster here?”

“no! you’re not-”

He was interrupted as the floor - and room - violently shifted as if thrown by some great force. They all lost their balance.

An exclaimed “Fuck” could be heard outside … and up.

Suddenly the top of the room exploded open with the sound of paper dragged against paper, light pouring in. The roof was gone. And in its place the giant face of a frowning human could be seen looming over them.

Count was terrified. He had no clue what was happening.

“Oh. Sorry guys." The giant human said, sounding male and not very sorry. "Didn’t see you round the corner.” 

“tch. watch where you’re steppin’ asshole.” Cloak muttered. But the two were otherwise quiet.

The human then _picked up the room_ \- which count was beginning to believe was not really a room - as Count was having a small existential crisis and froze to the spot as he slid to a corner. He couldn't even appreciate the first sight of the sky the opening allotted him.

He began moving under a massive arch with the words “No Bones About It.” 

Had Count not been thoroughly freaking out internally, he would have appreciated the words.

The Human managed to shuffle the cardboard box - because that’s what it was - into one hand, causing Counts soul to practically stutter to a halt at every jostle. He was intensely aware of the fact that _he might drop them_. The massive human did this without a second thought in order to unlock and open a glass door covered in flyers for bitty's. 

A purple poster proclaimed this a no kill drop off for unwanted bitties.

Count couldn’t read more of them as the door was already behind them.

“I’ll get you guys checked in shortly. Uh - maybe not mention my screw up?”

“whatever.” Cloak said, grouchy.

Dagger stayed silent, scowling, but not meeting the human gaze.

They didn’t appear to be surprised by the size of the human, so Count tried to find it in himself to calm down. Now that the surprise was over, apathy was quick to return as he just decided not to care. If it worked when his family and friend were murdered, he could handle this.

“Okay then.” the human said, unhappy, setting them down on what must be a desk, judging by the tower sized pile of paper Count saw the top of. “Well get this done quick. We’re getting a fresh shipment in any minute.”

He disappeared for a second and returned with some sort of scanner-gun.

“You're up first, Edge.”

“tch.” He stood separate from the others and flexed his fingers as the machine scanned him.

“Huh. I’m used to more swearing from your type. Glad I didn’t need to get the gloves.”

The way he said it made Cloak shudder. Clearly the gloves weren’t a found memory.

As soon as the scan was done he went back to stand by Dagger with a slumped posture. Dagger gave him a discrete pat.

The human disappeared and there was the sound of a keyboard. He whistled at what he saw on the assumedly connected computer screen.

“Well, you’ve certainly been around. And built up quite the records. Damage to persons and property alike and … ex-fighter? Huh.”

There was more clacking and he made his way back over to the box.

“Your turn Boss.”

Dagger stood tall, but remained silent and tense as the process repeated. His face was stony throughout and even after he went back to Cloak. But Count would have sworn his face cringed when the human had called him Boss.

“Ok. I see you’ve been at one more home than Edge before you two were paired up, after you were taken from the abusive family. Also plenty of complaints of violence and a dip in the rings.”

Count could see Dagger barely holding himself back from out right attacking the guy for his nonchalant attitude of describing such personal and probably traumatic events. Cloaks grip on his forearm probably helped too.

Now that Count took a closer look, he noticed the two had LV. Not much, but still. From the way they reacted to the mention of the “rings,” it probably wasn’t something they had set out for. But … they had healed him. He wouldn’t be a good Judge if he didn’t take more than LV into consideration. 

Almost five years into the resets, Count had gone through a phase of hunting down the weed for any - and that meant _any_ \- LOVE. It was just too much effort to keep up and it didn’t last more than a “week.” It had been the start of the Flowey ambushing too. 

It’s been fifteen years since then, or almost six “months” of varying length, but it still haunts him, what he had been capable of when driven to that. A death without Mercy. It was especially hard when the flower started bringing Papyrus into it as a body shield.

20 years of resets (give or take - he wasn't counting the _whole_ time) … he could still hardly believe he had found an out, and with how surreal things were, it may take awhile yet for it to sink in.

By this point, he had figured out what a “bitty” is on his own. They were property. A _product_. And these two appear to have been driven into a corner many times, and still found it in them to heal a stranger … he’d have to thank them properly. Even if they had gotten off on the wrong foot.

“Alright. Sansy? Up an at ‘em.”

Count stood up from the corner he had slid too, not having bothered getting up when he had fallen until now, and copied what the other two did. It didn’t take a genius to figure out he was supposed to be “Sansy.” Cloak had even said the term in passing if he recalled correctly.

The guy scanned, checked the computer, and asked to scan again.

“Huh. it was just working … it can’t be a malfunction-” he was interrupted by a beep on the computer. “Shit. New shipment is here. Sit tight.”

He was about to leave before he decided to throw in an orange and closed the lid, putting the bitties back in semi darkness.

The orange was as tall as Dagger and it still had the peeling on it.

(Not) 3:03:21 AM.

“what an asshole.” Cloak exclaimed the moment he was gone.

“HE DID INDEED BEAR RESEMBLANCE TO THE ANIMAL. IF HE WERE OUT IN A PETTING ZOO, I DOUBT EVEN HIS MOTHER WOULD VISIT IF PAID.”

Cloak snorted, but silence soon settled and tension rose. Both Cloak and Dagger were ignoring Count to the best of their abilities. Which was, not well as they kept glancing at him.

Cloak sighed.

Dagger crossed his arms.

Count attempted to break the ice.

“so-” 

He was immediately cut off.

“well i’m hungry! let's eat!”

He proceeds to wander over to the fruit and stab it with a sharpened bone attack. He began carving out edible sized chunks and Dagger joined in. Nifty trick. Count would have to try out sharpened bones sometime when he’s too lazy to get a proper knife to cook.

(Not) 3:04:52 AM.

He tried again to break the awkward air.

“he shouldn’t have said that stuff like that-” -was the wrong thing to say.

“the fuck you saying-” He seemed even more pissed, shaking his sticky attack in Counts face. “-get the fuck outta here with your pathetic pitying or you can get your own fucking food!”

Time to back track. Lazy persona activated.

“what? _orange_ you gonna share? i’ll admit, it was pretty _f-rude_ of me.”

Cloak muttered something about Sansy’s and their g rated shit puns.

Dagger continued to scowl but otherwise ignored them as he worked.

Looking to the attack in Cloak's hand, then back to eye contact, Count said, “i can see your _point_. guess i’ll wait _impale_ you reconsider.”

One could hear a pin drop as Cloak looked on in shock. His jaws were partially parted.

And then laughter rang out.

“ho-holy shit." He practically doubled over. "Th-that was better than you saying “hell!” hah hah!”

“eh.” Count shrugged. “a dose of _killer puns_ won't hurt anyone - they’ll all be _laughing to death_ any way.”

Dagger sighed in exasperation, holding a couple large chunks of orange he had cut out.

“IF YOU TO ARE DONE MAKING FOOLS OF YOURSELVES, CAN WE EAT?”

“fine.” Cloak said. “but no more mushy topics.”

“deal. but first, i’d just like to say tha-”

“nope. that sounds like mushy-voice-tone for mushy things. outta here with that wimpy shit.”

Dagger handed them each a chunk and kept on for himself. It was bigger than the size of his head. They sat down in a circle.

“fine.” Count conceded, not wanting another argument. “later then.”

He’d thank them later.

“fuck off.” Was his reply.

Playing along, Count mock scratched his cheek with his middle finger, causing Cloak to laugh again and Dagger to roll his eyes. Apparently, a “Sansy” being so blatantly crude was hilarious. He barely remembered a time where that may have been true for him. But it’s not like there was any reason to be rude back home - save for one weed in need of a good pruning. After knowing the script for so long, each unexpected reaction these guys pulled was the most hilarious thing to him. Apathy still pulled at him, but he at least he managed to feel … content.

This wasn’t too bad.

But there was no way he was staying in this universe to be some pet. But … how in the hell would he make his machine again when everything was so disproportionately large? He’d either have to make some major revisions or get some bigger help. But who would help him? He'll figure it out. Eventually. For now he just needs to bide his time and learn. 

He's very patient.

***

Anti_Void

***

Error is knitting a new Ink doll, sitting in his beanbag. Fresh stole his last one and it “mysteriously” ended up in the Star Council meeting hall one day. Ink is still convinced it was a secret gift from Blue. Error would prefer it stay that way.

Error’s minding his own business, keeping half an eye on the multiverse while his needles click away in the endless white expanse he calls home. Blue strings and red souls decorate the “ceiling,” and dolls of the many Sans’ offer the only other colors in this colorless non-world. Aside from the glitch himself that is. A rerun of Undernovella was playing on his portal.

“hUh.” 

He receives an alert of excessive anomalous activity emitting from Undertale_Copy208.

“wOnDeR wHaT tHe FuSs Is AbOuT.”

The voices seemed to find this one particularly interesting. Which usually meant bad things or weird things. Or both - mostly both.

He sure was getting a lot of alerts recently. 

Welp … it was time to get to work.

He was called the Destroyer of Worlds for a reason.

Maybe he'll see what has the voices so interested before he was done with the place.

He folds his glasses away and opens a portal to get started.

...

An Error has entered Undertale_Copy208.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love cliffhangers - don't you?
> 
> ok - but seriously. can anyone else picture a boss bitty casually assist an elderly patient from their shoulder with a puzzle? only pretending to be grumpy about it when someone else comes into the room? someone's gotta chew out the kids for not visiting after all. 
> 
> Old Lady: *finishes a tiny matching cardigan, looking confused*  
> Dagger: What have you been making today, Ma'am?  
> Old Lady: *surprised* Oh hello young man, i seem to have made this cardigan too small for some reason. And it looks about your size... Do you mind accepting it as a gift?  
> Dagger: *tearing up* I would be honored.
> 
> wholesome 100 (someone should totally make a fic - you have permission)
> 
> poor Cloak and Dagger though - they bounced through a lot of shady house holds. and unfortunately the original cardigan did not survive the ring - but you can bet his current outfit is in her memory. #EveryoneNeedsAHug


	3. A Small Problem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... do you think i passed "minor language" rating when i introduced Cloak? ... maybe.
> 
> these three are getting along pretty great, all things considered ^^ what could go wrong? nothing, right? *laughs in author*

Count was surprised they had managed to finnish the whole orange, even with the three of them going at it.

It was bigger than he was tall, even with arms outstretched for crying out loud ... and he was still a little hungry. Though the other two appeared content by what was in itself a disproportionately large amount, they were pretty surprised when he went back to finnish it off.

“where the fuck are you puttin’ that all? you’re gonna make yourself sick and i will _not_ be held responsible for the fallout.” Cloak had said.

Count could only shrug and put it down to his, “ _big_ appetite.” 

If his food consumption was any indicator, he could probably assume that he was the one to have shrunk, rather than everything else in the universe being massively big. Which felt like a kind of “no duh” situation. Unfortunately he somehow managed to retain most of the metabolism of a much larger being. It was a good thing Papyrus had brought back a lot of his “training spaghetti” last night before things went haywire - but he’d be fine for a few days of “dieting.” His mostly healed injuries probably also had something to do with it. Which he still needed to thank the two for.

Finally done with the orange, the remaining peels and seeds shoved in a corner, Count did his best to wipe the juice off on his already dirty lab coat. Luckily his sweater and t-shirt were still pretty okay by his standards.

His thumb phalange traced the crack on his radius. When he got back, he would definitely have to find a way to pay back the weed.

Too bad flowers don’t have bones.

(Not) 3:13:23 AM.

This would have to stop. He couldn’t stand it being incorrect any longer. It was seriously distracting. Well, more than it usually is.

So, with an exaggerated stretch as he stood, he looked to the other two who were chatting about some violent video game.

“back in a jiff.” He said.

Wasting no more time (heh), he shortcut to the side of the stack of paper he saw earlier, and before gravity even began to kick in, he cut to the top of the box he was looking at from the outside. This allowed him his first good view of the office. It was … unimpressive.

Shortcutting might get annoying at some point, as he needs to have seen somewhere before in order to go there - and pictures don’t work. He’d have been on the Surface long before, had he been able to do that. And being as this was an entirely new universe, he didn’t exactly have very many locations he could shortcut to yet. Another thing to add to his “to do list.”

The office looked pretty nondescript if a bit cluttered. No window, two desks back to back in what basically amounted to a closet. Though for Count it was rather massive at the moment … that would probably take some getting used too.

It didn’t take him long to find what he was looking for. The computer was right beside the box after all.

Before he cut to the keyboard he heard an exclamation from inside the box.

“wha-? what the fuck!?”

Getting an idea, Count cut to right beside the box and knocked twice.

“knock knock.” He said amused.

“how in the -”

“that’s not how it goes. knock knock.”

“...who’s there.”

“count.”

“count who.”

“count you keep it down? i’m busy out here.”

Count made his way over to the keyboard and hit the gigantic space key. It came up password protected. It had been about ten minutes since the guy left. It probably automatically logged out. That wouldn’t be a problem for long.

But immediately he came up with the problem of how to press multiple keys at once, each a bigger than his hands. As an expert at the art of shortcuts, of course he is aware of the ones for a computer as well. He worked hard to be so efficient - or as Papyrus would say, “lazy.”

It didn't take long to think of a solution though. Right. Of course. The answer was simple. Use attacks to type. Duh. 

“hey … uh …” Cloak started. “mind tellin’ me how you did that trick?”

“hmm?” He concentrated on summoning a few bones. Three massive bones appeared. Each a lot bigger than even twenty times his current height. Huh. Guess his magic didn’t shrink with him. He dismissed them and focused on making smaller ones that would be easier to work with. Success. “oh. you mean the shortcut? can’t you do that?”

He started typing, bypassing the password entirely. The security was horrible.

“yeah i can fucking shortcut.” Cloak said immediately defensive “but i can’t do - that wasn’t a fucking shortcut. you musta done somethin’ else.”

“hmm. it certainly felt like a shortcut.” He opened up settings and looked for the time - got to get those seconds lined up too while he had the chance. “why? what’s a shortcut to you?”

“ya can’t just cut through physical matter like that!” He finally burst. “not without leaving yourself minutes from dust no how! i just don’t get you!”

“huh. good to know.” He twisted the spindle until the times matched up and breathed a sigh of relief. He looked to the door to see if he had more time to look into what bitties were. “keep this between us then, m’kay? i’ll owe you one.”

He probably shouldn’t risk it. Just lay low for today. Maybe when everyone went to sleep he could sneak back in and do his research.

“the actual fuck. you think i’m gonna snitch to the damn human?”

8:54:37 AM.

Much better. And apparently it’s thursday and summer here. Neat.

“well, i mean, not unless you had a good reason.”

He closed settings and made sure to log out, leaving the rest as it was.

“i ain’t a bitty snitch!”

Count cut back into the box. Cloak was facing the box wall that had the computer beyond. Dagger noticed him first, but didn’t say anything, just watching from the sideline, eyesockets narrowed.

“never called you one.” He pointed out.

Cloak jumped and twirld to face him, not expecting Count to be back in the box already. Count got a good look over before Cloak spat the words towards him.

“you’re a weird fuckin’ bitty know that?”

He just shrugged. Considering he wasn't a bitty, that should be a given. He'd have to learn to blend in for now.

“and you know what? fuck it. i was willing to ignore your weird ability to bleed, but now? i think my curiosity deserves a little compensation.”

Count was genuinely surprised. 

“i was bleeding? how bad? you didn't touch it did you???”

He was sure his determination had been running out the last few years in the resets, showing a downward trend since after the five year mark. What changed? Why now …? 

The letter. His machine. He finally had something to work toward again and it reacted in a way to drive him on. A pretty good theory to form off the top of his head if he did say so himself. Before he was living just to live so Papyrus wouldn’t be stuck alone for seemingly no reason. But it had been progressively hard to see a point in even that for a while and his dt levels had reflected that.

"why the fuck would i touch it?" Cloak looked ant him like he was an idiot again.

Healing only required hovering, but it was good to double check. Who knew what dt would do to someone so small?

“SO EVEN YOU DO NOT KNOW?”

Count blinked having already forgotten about Dagger as he was so quiet.

“no, i have an idea." He admitted, pretty comfortable with these two. "i just don't feel like talking about the time i was a lab rat in my youth, or the particulars pertaining to the science.”

The two looked shocked and horrified, Dagger actually showing a different expression other than glaring.

“... a fucking lab rat?”

“hey. i didn't make a thing out of you being in a ring, did i?” Count shrugged, trying not to feel too uncomfortable. This was the most he'd spoken about this in a while. “besides. i could be exaggerating. it was a looong time ago. most of it has gone blurry by now. got several ph.d’s worth knowledge out of it though.”

Before more could be said, they heard the doorknob to the office jangle before coming to a halt. The guy was on the phone and it was muffled through the door but still legible. 

8:58:49 AM.

“Yeah, okay. Saturday it is.” the guy said, pausing before the door. “Believe me, these guys are better off dust … Yeah, the usual. See ya then. Gotta go, store’s gotta be open for 9-ish.”

They heard the door finally open as the guy hung up the phone.

***

(Authors Note: why is there always cliffhanger potential in the middle??? I just wanna spoil youuuu!!!)

***

… did that human just do what Count thought he did? He wouldn’t … that poster said this was a “no kill drop off” he remembered.

Cloak's eyelights had gone out and Daggers posture had gone lax from shock.

“i-” Before Count could even get more than a word in, the top of the box opened.

One of Cloak’s eyelights were back as both he and Dagger prepared red bone attacks.

“Okay guys. I’m just gonna -” The human had to duck the attacks before he could finish, eyes glinting. “I knew it.” He muttered, a small smirk.

He disappeared for a minute.

A plan was forming in Count’s head as he did nothing but cower in the corner next to the orange peels. Smells like citrus.

“the fuck aren’t you helping?” Cloak demanded quietly. “you said you owed us one!”

“i do.” Count said a little shaken. “but sometimes you gotta know when to hold your aces for the right moment.”

9:01:07 AM.

“what the fuck does that-”

The human was back. This time they were wearing a face shield and a chainmail glove. He also carried a very sturdy metal cage.

Without further preamble, the human reached into the box and grabbed Cloak, who for all he’s worth, bites, claws, growls and cusses the whole while. Any attacks thrown barely scratched the protective shields and he soon was stuck in the cage. 

Count had shivers at the sight of Cloak so powerless against the human.

Dagger went nearly the same way, but with demands instead of curses. He seemed on the verge of a panic attack.

“Huh." The human noted. "So Boss can still talk, just choose not to. Guess you’re not as broken as I thought.” he’s shoved into the cage. “Not that that’ll help you now.”

He left the room with the two, Cloak still spitting insults and profanity left and right. Add a few rhymes and he’d have a pretty decent rap carrier going.

9:02:10 AM.

It didn’t even take a minute for them to be captured and restrained.

It took a bit of Count’s will power to remain in the box rather than book it. If it came to it, he could theoretically fight his way out, but that would leave Cloak and Dagger in the hands of this prick and what he had planned for saturday. And he'd loose his ace.

So he stayed.

When the human came back, Sans gave him a Check.

A patient soul … with more LV than either Cloak or Dagger. From what Count could gather, that combo was bad news and this was not a good person. The worst case scenario popped into his head. Someone who’s willing to take their time with a kill. Who waits till the perfect moment to screw you over … the thought made him shudder.

He’d definitely bust those two out before saturday. He just needs to research this world more to make sure they had a place to go and to make sure he could make more concrete plans.

He had today and tomorrow to think and gather intel.

The rescue mission would henceforth be dubbed, Operation Cloak and Dagger - or OCD for short. 

… 

He’d make it work.

“It’s okay Sansy." The human "comforted." "The baddies are gone. Let’s get you set up for the display quickly, I'm late opening.”

Count just shrugged as a yellow ring with a barcode was tossed in with him. 

“Your chip must be busted, so keep that on so people don’t mistakenly try to purchase you. Won’t be able to get a replacement for a month.”

The human lifted the box as they moved to who knows where.

Lazy persona activated.

“sure. _sell_ nice of you to _chip_ in.”

Bastard gave a chuckle as he said. “Good to know those two didn’t rub off on you. I feel real sorry about leaving you with them for so long. They didn’t hurt you did they?”

Count didn’t like the look he had given when asked if they hurt him.

9:04:04 AM.

“naw. they may _yellow_ lot, but it’s no _chip_ off my shoulder.”

“That so?”

He looked like he was pretending he wasn’t disappointed. He was a good actor, Count would give him that. But Count was good with faces.

The guy must have hopped they did hurt him after learning about the ring. This guy was ... icky, putting it mildly.

The box came to a halt and the human placed a hand, palm up near Count. It took a second to get what he wanted, but with the lazy persona still in effect, Count kept his disgust and discomfort internal as he clambered on. It was warm as he was lowered outside the box.

In front of him was a big inlaid heated pool. At least, it was big to him right now. Couldn’t have been more than a few feet in either direction.

“The bath should still be hot from the freshies and you look like you could really use one. New clothes are over there.” He pointed to a mini cabinet. “Just throw out your old clothes over there.” He pointed to the trash. “I gotta go open. I’ll be back in a few minutes to get you into the display.” 

He left Count alone. That probably wasn't procedure, but Count wasn't complaining.

9:04:53 AM.

Rather than throw out his perfectly good clothes as asked, he put them into his inventory, along with his watch. He'd be fine without it for a while.

Not wanting to be caught without clothes when the guy returns, he was quick and efficient with getting clean and made for the new sets provided. They were all off-whites and greys, but at least some of them looked comfy. He picked a light grey track pant with white stripes down the side, a new white t, and the comfiest dark grey sweater he could find. A near neon yellow ring high set on his arm completes the ensemble. It was pretty bland if he was being honest. But at least he was comfy.

There were no shoes. Thinking back, Cloak didn’t wear shoes. Guess he would go without shoes.

By that time, the human came back, breaking him out of his thoughts about shoes, and he was fully dressed.

The human now had a pin claiming his name to be Kyle. Count thinks Bastard fit better.

“Alright, come on.” He held out his hand for Count again.

“Time to meet the other returnees.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> should i stop doing the Authors Note thing? is it getting annoying? have i broken the immersive experience for the sake of a running gag??? ... yes? will i continue anyway? most likely ^^
> 
> but at least it's finally not an excessively long chapter. more bitty sized, you could say. (i mean, it's not small, but it's a comfortable size, right?) you can expect this to be about the minimal page length if that worries you - i don't plan on shorter ... i still really wanted to keep going again, but I should pace it, right? (there will likely be more monster ch's in the future)
> 
> i totally didn't name those two Cloak and Dagger for that pun ... at least, not for _only_ that pun XD meanwhile count is just casually flexing his op power, pay no mind


	4. A Little Meet And Greet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let's meet some more bitties XD
> 
> ... i seem to have added quite a substantial number more. ho-boy

Once again, Count had the unpleasant experience of being carried around by this bastard 'Kyle.'

It wasn’t ideal, putting himself in such a vulnerable spot for someone he knew was untrustworthy, but Count managed. His lazy persona had been honed after years of threat of harm and death to him and others. He wouldn’t let it fail him now.

In fresh clothes, he examined his surroundings very carefully, with eye sockets half lidded, as they traveled.

They appeared to be in a hallway that had a view of the front door and were behind the counter. There were four rooms. The office they had started in, the one with the tub, one with a plaque claiming it was a janitor closet and one unmarked, but sturdy looking, padlocked door. It was a pretty good guess which one the two were transferred too.

As they rounded the corner, Count had his first look at the shop properly from behind the counter.

Count's shock at the sight slipped through his mask for a second. Luckily the guy wasn’t focused on him.

The place was colorful and cheerful. It was similar to a daycare for children in appearance, with an open concept. They even had a padded area in the middle made of those colorful foam puzzle mats with several toys. Plenty of light - natural light - streaming in from a large front window giving view to a road and sidewalk with the occasional pedestrian - both human and monster - and cars. There were several different looking pamphlets scattered near the glass tank like enclosures.

But that wasn’t what had caught his attention the most.

There were so many skeletons … and all of them looked like a version of him or his brother. Only tiny.

Well, now he knew why they were called by types - they weren’t the only one with their appearances or personality. 

There was another pair of Edge and Boss bitties near the window. All the bitties were wearing similar clothes to what was found in the cabinet, the sharper ones sticking to the darker greys. There was also another version of himself napping in the sun … 7 to be accurate. Several Papyrus’ also appeared to be calling them lazy or tidying up, but there seemed to be a different number to the Sansys … were they not paired … for purchase? 

There were other types he didn’t recognize, including an energetic ‘Sansy’ with blue stars in his eyes.

Before he could break the lazy persona even further by staring longingly out the window, they moved to a display that was on the side wall, away from the window, but not too far. On inspection, the displays had place cards. The window was the “factory fresh” and the one he was now being set in was “returned.” 

In each of the tanks the floor was covered in wood shavings and structures covered in soft looking fabrics.

There was another section even further from the widow dubbed “special care.” It looked like it had multiple sections and more privacy for the bitties. Beyond that was the bathroom, to the right of the counter. Each display had pamphlets he'd definitely be looking at later.

The wire mesh lid of the returnee display was opened and he was placed in, catching the attention of the bitties already there - 9 of them … 10 with him now. He didn’t see any Edge or Bosses here, but there were a few sharp ones that were mostly keeping to themselves. 

“Here’s the new guy.” Bastard said. “Play nice.”

There was a bell as the front door opened and a purple bunny monster coming through.

He left to deal with the customer as Count was left to his own devices in a room of strangers. He surveyed the room.

A lounging Papyrus was half watching from his comfortable looking perch that resembled a cat tower. The feet, of what he was going to assume was a Sansy and another lazy Papyrus, were sticking out of a tunnel - so he could figure that Cloak wasn’t intending to be weird when he snuggled up and it was, indeed, normal here. Weird. 

There was a pair of lazy pointy Papyrus’ that were talking in hushed tones, feet dangling from a higher perch. One just shrugged and rolled over into a better nap position.

Two of the starry-eyed Sansy, two sharp versions of the Star-Sansy’s that somehow seem different in demeaner, and a regular Papyrus were beginning to approach. 

Count’s eyelights lingered on the Papyrus.

“s’up.” He settled for a neutral introduction that sounded like it came straight from a support group meeting. “i’m a sansy. you can call me count. it has been 46 seconds sense my last return.”

The sharp-lazy-pap that was still watching snorted, the other gave a thumbs up. The lazy-pap smirked with an eye roll and Count could almost hear a stifled chuckle from the Sansy in the tunnel - not asleep after all. Probably woke up when the lid opened but was to lazy to get up for real. That was going to be a trippy meeting.

Of the 5 standing in front of him, there were different reactions as well. Of the two sharp-star-sans, one looked down on him with a regal posture and distaste across his features, and the other rolled his eyes, hands on his hips. The two star-sans’ also had differing reactions - one pouted but the other tried to hide a smirk. Weird. 

The Papyrus tapped his foot with a sigh and an eye roll.

More than half played along and returned a “Hi Count” of varying degrees of enthusiasm.

“welp. if you need me, i’ll be napping.” 

With that, Count started to walk toward an unoccupied tunnel a little off from the rest. It didn’t take much seeing the 'other Sansys' to guess that was probably the best approach … and he could actually use that nap. He might be a bit jet lagged.

“SUCH A LAZY INTRODUCTION.” A sharp-star-sans said to the Papyrus.

“AGREED.” The Papyrus said. “BUT FROM A SANSY THAT WAS A PRETTY GOOD EFFORT!”

“THAT’S RIGHT! HE DID HIS BEST!” A star-sans was also on his side.

He walked away as they began to score his introduction and most of them went back to whatever it is bitties do. He didn’t acknowledge the three that continued to watch him enter the tunnel. 

Just before entering the tunnel, he managed to see the bunny monster walk out of the store, a Sansy on their shoulder. He looked a bit smug. The Edge in the factory fresh display flipped him off. Out the window he could scarcly see the sky reflected on the building across the roads window and reflective car. Soon he'd get his first view, but for now he would wait. What's a couple days more?

Bastard turned from the closing door and went back behind the counter to play on his phone.

Count entered the empty tunnel. Now that he was out of view, he took his watch out to check the time before taking his nap. He could do his research tonight. But right now? It’s been a long, weird day.

9:19:17 AM.

He fell asleep to the comforting sound of quiet ticking against his trauma marked sternum. 

***

_Flowey cackled menacingly. Sans had been caught in it’s vines somehow. He couldn’t remember what he had been doing._

_The vines were crushing him. He could feel his ribs cracking and grinding together._

_“C-can’t breath … let g-go!”_

_The demon flower just cackled on. Suddenly, Sans saw his precious timepiece dangling in front of his face, just as broken as he was. As he was crushed the timepiece fell further into disrepair as the two were forced further apart. Or was it the distance that was tearing them apart? Sans couldn't concentrate._

_If only he was closer - than he could protect it, try to fix it._ Anything _. He desperately needed to do something to help … but he was too far away._

_“This all just a bad dream.” Flowey smiled. “And you’re NEVER WAKING UP!”_

_Behind Flowey and his vines that seemed to cover everything, he could see the outline of Papyrus. Sans could only reach out in desperation … but he would never reach him now - no matter the struggle he put out._

_“wake up.” Papyrus said urgently, but softly. "you're having a nightmare."_

***

He jolted awake to Papyrus shaking him awake. No - not his papyrus. Not even his bitty double. This was one of the lazy-paps. Count remembered where he was. He was in a display, on the Surface of an alternate reality, in a pet shop. That sounded really bonkers when put like that, but he knew it was true because of his surroundings and the one to wake him.

Weird. Normally he didn’t have nightmares that bad, but maybe it had to do with being carried in hands larger than he was tall. Usually halfway through he’d realize he was dreaming and practice his punning material. Dream Flowey is always as unimpressed as real Flowey.

“you good?” The lazy-pap asked.

“yup.” Count said with a lazy smile. “i can do this with my eyes closed.”

He got a pitying “nyeh heh” for his efforts.

“how long was i asleep?” He asked.

“over three hours. lunch is going to be served soon. figured you’d want to be awake for that.”

“you’d be right.” Count was indeed hungry. Part of an orange for breakfast wasn’t exactly gonna cut it.

Count stretched and stood in the tunnel. The lazy-pap stayed seated.

“... unless there was something else?” Count asked.

“just curious how you got a buyer already.” He looked pointedly to the yellow band.

Count blinked. “oh … no. my, uh, chip’s damaged so the bas- kyle put this on so i don’t get sold before i get a new one. parentally the closest time is a month out.”

If the lazy-pap noticed his almost slip up, he gave no indication.

“how’d it get damaged?” He seemed particularly curious about this question.

“eh.” Count shrugged. He didn’t know enough to come up with a plausible explanation for a chip failing. Yet.

“... alright. well if you remember, come find me.” He got up and began to walk away. “i’d be interested in _watch_ you’ve gotta say.” 

Count put a hand to the timepiece that was tucked under his white shirt as the lazy-pap left.

11:37:12 AM.

Welp … hopefully this wouldn’t be an issue. Oh well - he’ll deal with things as they come. And now that he was up, he might as well mingle a little. He might learn something more.

He reviewed the things he’s learned so far to prepare himself. 

Bitties are pets despite being sentient and are typically chipped with their history. Chip possibly doubles as a tracker. Their magic is weaker than a monsters and they cuddle-up in their sleep - probably as an evolutionary trait because of the magic level difference (power in numbers) though that is speculation as of now. They can’t shortcut past physical barriers, but they can still summon small bone-attacks. Unclear weather or not Gaster Blasters are used by bitties as of yet. Bitty-type names can double as a form of address - so far the only type names known are Edge, Boss and Sansy, but there appear to be more. Furthermore, there is a thing called a Ring that is probably similar to fighting at a coliseum as he has heard humans once did - weather or not the Ring is legal is unknown for now.

It wasn’t much, but it would do for now. It would have to.

***

(Author's Note: Yup. Another note pointing out a possible cliffhanger placement partition point. In other news, Count sure managed to piece together a bit(ty) about bitties. You'd think he was writing a mental research paper XD)

***

Count exited the tunnel. In the more than 3 hours he had slept, not much had changed other than where everyone was.

The Sansy and other lazy-pap seemed to have moved their napping spot under a heated lamp. The sharp-lazy-pap had since joined them, and the lazy-pap he had just spoken to was on his way over. Count would not admit to how tempting a nap there sounded.

The two sharp-star-sans’, the Papyrus and a star-sans were switching between cleaning, talking and shooting disappointed looks to the napping skeletons. They were pretty much scattered about. He should really get to learning their type-names. 

But where were …?

“HELLO! I SEE YOU ARE UP?”

Count did not jump as the hand landed on his shoulder from behind. Nope. Did not happen.

“oh, uh. hey.” Count blinked at the image of two blue stars on a face much more similar to his own than Cloak.

“I AM THE MAGNIFICENT BABY BLUE!” He proclaimed, posing. “BUT YOU CAN CALL ME KID!”

“well, hi kid. heh.” Count broke eye contact to look around their enclosure again. “did i _count_ wrong, or are we missing one?”

“MWEH.” Kid had attempted a huff at the pun but it came out half a laugh. “YOU DID NOT. THE PUP WAS CHOSEN FOR ADOPTION WHILE YOU LAZED ALONE. I MUST SAY YOU HAVE VERY IMPRESSIVE SOUL ENERGY LEVELS!”

Kids' hands always seemed to be moving, in contrast to how his eyes didn’t ever stray.

“... uh. thanks, i guess.” Why was soul energy levels being mentioned …? Could bitties sense that sort of thing? Interesting.

The baby blue looked at him for a second before continuing to chat.

“SO. I HEAR YOUR CHIP IS DAMAGED.”

Had he been eavesdropping …? 

“... yeah.”

Kid glanced around.

“AND WITH THAT SOUL ENERGY LEVEL YOU COULD LAST QUITE A WHILE ON YOUR OWN IF YOU WANTED. EVEN WITH A FEW OTHERS, IF I DARE SAY.”

“... perhaps.” 

“I ALSO HEAR YOU’RE IN POSSESSION OF SOMETHING … INTERESTING. IT WOULD BE A SHAME IF KYLE FOUND OUT. ESPECIALLY SINCE THE OTHER CLERK IS OUT SICK TODAY.”

Another glance around as Kid took another step closer. Count fought against his sudden impulse to step back.

In a much quieter voice, Kid asked, eyes hard.

“What are your true feelings about being nothing but a pet for the rest of your life.”

Oooh - so that’s how it is. This could be fun. Count relaxed with a smile - the same manic smile he used when he saw Flowey. His magic flared a bit in his eyelights.

“i will never be someone's 'pet' again.”

His expression was nearly back to it's masked façade in an instant, lest someone see something off. But he couldn’t wipe a stupid smirk from his face as if he had just thought of a good joke.

He didn’t owe this ‘Baby Blue’ anything, especially after he had blackmailed him. But if it was freedom he wanted, fair enough. They might not be trapped underground, but that didn’t make him any less a prisoner of his circumstances. But first he'd see how he reacted to this.

Kid blinked, possibly a bit startled. But then he returned a similar smile, before jumping in place like an innocent little, well, kid. 

“I KNEW YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND!” 

Count knew he saw something in those eyesockets beyond the obvious stars. The other Baby Blue didn't have that look. The look of desperation.

Kid looked over to the bitty pile where the lazy-pap had been discreetly watching and gave an excited nod. He received a thumbs up back.

“clever.” Count said. “you teamed up. one to gather info, the other to use the info and make a deal.”

“MWEH HEH HEH! THANK YOU! IT WAS MY PLAN THAT LED TO THIS MOMENT. USUALLY IT IS VERY HARD TO MOTIVATE A SANSY TO DO ANYTHING.”

“i think you’ll find i’m a little different from most sansys.”

“INDEED. AND YOU CAN APPLY THAT SAME LOGIC TO ME AND OTHER BABY BLUES.”

“and your pal?” Count nodded to the lazy-pap.

“A STANDARD LIL’ BRO. HIS REASONS ARE HIS OWN.”

“cool, cool. so, i hope you don’t mind, but i was already makin’ plans to skedaddle for night after next with my buds in the back room. but you’re free to come with.”

Kid blinked. “A SUPPOSED ‘VIOLENT TYPE’ I PRESUME?”

“you would be correct. how’d you know?”

“WHEN EVER KYLE IS UNSUPERVISED THOSE TYPES TEND TO … GO MISSING.” He looked over to where the bastard was still on his phone. “WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT THIS MORE PRIVATELY.” he gestured to the tunnel.

Count followed him in.

They both sit across from each other, Kid tapping his fingers on his kneecaps. 

“OKAY. SO. I’VE BEEN HERE FOR ABOUT TWO MONTHS AND HAVE BEEN MONITORING THIS THROUGH GOSSIP AND EAVESDROPPING. FROM WHAT I’VE GATHERED, KYLE WORKS SEVERAL PART TIME JOBS. HE IS A CLOSETED ANTI-EDGE SUPPORTER. HE HAS BEEN USING HIS CONNECTIONS IN MANY DROP OFF CENTERS TO REROUTE BITTIES OF HIS CHOICE TO A CLINIC HE ALSO PART TIMES AT. EDGE, BOSS, CHIEF, AND MUTT TYPES USUALLY. SOMETIMES CAPS OR PUPS. FROM THERE … HE TENDS TO EUTHANIZE THE BITTIES. I’M UNCERTAIN OF HOW HUMANELY. HE IS NOT THE ONLY ONE IN ON IT, BUT I WAS UNABLE TO FIGURE OUT WHO SPECIFICALLY OTHER THAN A FEW FIRST NAMES.”

“hmm…” 

“WHAT IS IT?”

“heh. don’t worry about it.” Count smiled evilly. “just adding something to my to do list.”

Since it was clear Kid the kid already knew about it, Count checked his watch.

12:05:14 AM.

“WOWIE! ARE YOU CREATING EVIL PLANS OF REVENGE TOO!?”

“more like justice … it shouldn’t change my plans too drastically.” He stood and offered a hand to Kid who took it. “when’s lunch by the way?”

“OH! WE USUALLY EAT AT TWELVE. BUT KYLE IS ALSO USUALLY LATE.”

“ah. gotcha.” 

Kid led Count out of the tunnel.

“NOW IF YOU EXCUSE ME - I HAVE A LAZYBONES TO SCOLD! MWEH HEH HEH!”

He winked and ran off with a boundless energy toward the heat lamp where two Lil’ Bro and a Pup type - as he now knows they are called - napped.

But where was …?

“s’up.” Came from above.

Count turned around to see the Sansy lounging on top of the tunnel that Kid and him were just inside. What was with everyone listening to private conversations and approaching from behind? 

“you are.” Count said, caught a little off guard.

“heh. true.” 

There was a beat of silence as they both seemed to analyze the other.

It was like looking in a mirror. A weird, distorted mirror. It was a lot weirder than meeting Cloak or Kid who each seemed completely different from him. This Sansy was practically a version of him with less hate and despair. The closest to his past self he’d met so far. Though … at this point in time, Count could barely remember that past self. The Sansy even wore the same thing as him, down to the yellow arm band - though the dark grey and light grey of the sweater and sweatpants were swapped.

It was as freaky as he thought it would be. That is to say, a heck of a lot.

“so.” It was the Sansy to break the silence first. “jumpin’ ship are you?”

“... i guess.” Count shifted his weight to his other foot.

“heh. no need to look so worried pal.” He lazily winked. “not my place to judge what you do or don’t do.”

“uh. thanks.” 

The Sansy slide down the side of the tunnel, landing easily on his feet, hands in pockets as he now lazily leaned against the side of the tunnel. His eye sockets were still half lidded.

“however … there is still something i would like to say.” He nodded back to the tunnel.

Was this the tunnel of secret meetings or what? And each time it has proven very unreliable against the protection of eavesdroppers. This was, what …? The third conversation in - he stopped himself from checking his watch - about 40 minutes since waking up?

He sighed and went back into the tunnel. Sansy followed. 

The two looked at each other before the Sansy began.

“... is it really so bad to be a pet? … three meals a day, friends, shelter, and heh, unlimited naps. it may take a couple tries for the right home, but it can be worth it.”

Count shrugged again. Honestly didn’t sound too bad, but it's not something he’d want. Besides, he had more than himself to think about. He wanted Papyrus to be happy too. If he helped a few other people along the way, that was his choice.

“it’s, uh.” Count tried to answer, looking at the floor. “less about not wanting to be a pet, and more i already have someone i need to get back too. a place where i have friends that need my help.” Counts thumb traced the mostly healed radius crack absently as he attempted to explain how he really felt. “i need to live in a way that gives me control over who i am, and who i want to be. i want to be someone i can live with. all i’ve been for the longest time is just a toy to manipulate and break, over and _over_ … what ever i want to do with my life, i want it be my choice - and what i want is to see where hope will take me for once … i want to forge a better fate myself and family. i am _determined_ to forge a better fate.”

There was silence for a moment before the Sansy broke it with a snort.

“that was, heh, some speech. you wouldn’t happen to have practiced it? or was that some king of _forgery_.”

“heh. no. just _claying_ what's on my mind.”

“well … it’s clear i’m not going to persuade you if you’ve got people waiting. i don’t know what happened, and i don’t need to know. but let me give you some advice … it’s a big world out there for a little guy like us. freedom can come at a cost.” He walked to the exit. Facing outward, he paused. “do what you need to do, but don’t lose yourself or your reasons.”

And he was gone. From the way he spoke, he had to have had some experience in the matter. 

12:20:25 AM.

Count left the tunnel. Again. Figuring why not he turned around. Only to discover an eavesdropping skeleton. Again. 

This time it was the remaining Pup leaning in the shadow of the tunnel exterior. But Pup broke the pattern and Count wasn’t brought into another heart to heart, nor did he give his opinion. Pup walked away without more than a respectful nod and made his way to the two chatting Lil’ Bro’s.

Count had a pretty good idea what bitties did in their down time now - eavesdrop and gossip for one.

Climbing one of the lower cat-tree-things levels, Count waited for lunch as he people watched. Everyone seemed to be awake and waiting for lunch now. He was pretty hungry by now, too. Soon enough, the bastard behind the counter felt the many hungry eyes on him as he must finally remember he needs to feed them 20 minutes ago.

Bastard started with the factory fresh station. 

Count observed, to his displeasure, that each plate was being served with head pats.

Oh _hell_ naw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp ... that was anticlimactic. everyone's just chatting, napping and nosing in on other peoples conversations. Count sure is playing the long game, huh? but i guess time has kinda lost weight for him
> 
> what do you guys think of the skeleton crew so far? ... 9 is a lot of characters to add at once ... i didn't even get through them all yet T-T
> 
> any recommendations for names? no promises your named skele makes it to Operation Cloak and Dagger or the escape - wait. you thought i was gonna bust them _all_ out? heck no! that's to many characters to keep track of (and Count doesn't see this as his problem)! this is already going to have nearly 20 characters later! 
> 
> ... it is just occurring to me what i have done to myself >A< (jk - i love writing long stories with lots of character interaction XD it'll be fiiiine)
> 
> who is yet to be named:  
> Chief (fellswap sans)  
> Cap (swapfell sans)  
> Baby Blue (underswap sans)  
> Sansy (Undertale sans)  
> Papy (undrertale papyrus)  
> Pup (swapfell)  
> Lil' Bro (underswap) x2

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading this far ^^
> 
> comment down below what you think owo ? even if it's to yell at me about spelling XD


End file.
